Camui M.S. Gackt
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Funny Interviews ^-^

(I= Ishibashi, MH = Mysterious Host, G= Gackt)
The Hidden Meat
The hidden meat
MH: So what do you do at home?
G: I smoke...
MH: You smoke...
G: I drink alcohol...
MH: You drink alcohol...
G: I watch movies,
MH: You watch movies...
G: That's about it really.
I: What movies?
MH: What movies did you see recently?
G: The Green Mile
I: Contrary to image....suprisingly normal.
(Laughter...even Gackt laughts XD)
G: It just so happened that day I had been taken with a stomach ache.
MH: Gackt, do you have stomach problems?
G: Well it was just after the New Year...
MH: What was the cause of it?
G: I think perhaps it was food poisoning.
MH: What did you eat? (grins)
G: I have a feeling that it was the oysters.
(a picture of oysters is faded in)
I: A surprisingly common cause. Incidentally, it says here that you like to cook, and that it takes you 4 days to do so. What kind of cooking takes 4 days to prepare?
G: Basically..everything...
I: Takes 4 days to cook?
G: Well it starts from shopping.
MH: Where do you like to shop?
G: Hmmm...the supermarket?
MH: Which supermarket is good?
G: I go to many but...
MH: Which do you go to most often?
G: Maru Sho [Recently went bankrupt really cheap and many chain stores]
(marushologo is faded in)
MH: Wait a sec...Gackt, man, Marusho and you don't fit together.
G: I really love...that atmosphere. (grins)
MH: MaruSho's?
G: Yes I love it.
MH: It is a chain store.
G: Yes, I go store hopping...
MH: Marusho chain store hopping?
G: Basically, they have meat there right, well I often make curry and other things like that. Rather than the meat lined up in the front, I like to search for the meat they hide in the back. They have those doors in the back like this... (moves his hand like he wants to open a oscillatingdoor)
(laughter, a oscillatingdoor (does this word excist? ^-^') is faded in)
I: You push them and they go... (also moves his hands like Gackt)
G: I slam them open and ask: "Is the meat supervisor here?"
MH: So you call the meat supervisor and...
G: "The hidden meat"
I: Is there such a thing?
G: There is, at the supermarket.
MH: What kind of...?
G: LIke Pork Belly Blocks.
I: Pork Belly Blocks!?
G: I can't really say it loudly but...
MH: Then you can say it quietly
G: The Prok Belly Blocks not on dispay in the store
MH: You, yourself take them or what?
G: No, no it's just the sound of Pork Belly... (has to laugh)
MH: What do you make with these Pork Belly Blocks?
G: Curry.
I: Oh, Pork Belly Curry is really good, isn't it?
G: Yes, it's the Pork Belly that makes the Curry taste good, so I go to the back and I say "The Pork Belly Blocks...get them for me"
G: At first they won't take them out for me, so I say, "No, they're back there."
(audience laughs)
G: "I know they are"
I: "I know they are" !? You know everything about Marusho.
G: "Yes I know they are" and then he says "Alright then."
I: everything...
G: You know he then lines up about this many Pork Belly Blocks (moves his hands) and asks..."Which do you want?" Well...then I touch it like this (is pointing on the table. squeaking sound ) I think this one.
I: How much do you get?
G: About one pig worth. (a picture of it is faded in)
I: (is astonished)
MH: And then you eat alone?
G: No I call my friends, "I'm making curry so, just wait a bit." Of course...that's four days prior.
I: You announce it 4 days prior!?
The mysterious piano
I: What will you play for us?
G: Just a little classical. (plays fast something on the piano)
(The base plate where the piano is standing on moves. laughter from the audience. You can see, that the plate is shift by the staff. Ishibashi and MH laugh, Gackt keeps cool.)
(the base is stopped)
G: That's how it's done...
(laughter and applause)
MH: (shocked) Without a doubt, you just moved now didn't you?
G: Did I?
MH: Let's do it one more more time please.
G: (laughs) Well ok. (starts playing the piano again)
(the base plate is shifting back...laughter...)
G: (stops playing)
(base plate is stopped)
G: Are you...bullying me? (grins)
Funny Interview
the hidden meat
MH: (pianomelody in the back...) Regarding our next guest...his atmosphere, as you can see there are skulls, a chandelier
I: A leopard print...
MH: Yes leopard print, leopard print handerkerchiefs and a floor rug. Also behind us there are candles and skulls...and other things you may not normally see on Utaban...this week's guest is none other than...Ah?
I: piano?
MH: This piano music...what's this sound?
I: (you can see gackt through a hole in the wall. he's playing piano)
MH: It could'nt be...
I: The Mad Aristocrat..The Pork Belly (Butabara) Aristocrat is back!
MH: Mr Pork Belly! "Pork Belly"'s playing the piano! He's wonderful so wonderful. He's really into his music but, we do need to talk with him. Well let's introduce our guest who got such a big response last time he was on, allow me to introduce in his second appearance, Gackt come on out here!!!
G: (comes in through a door)
(the audience applauses)
(the first utaban interview, hidden meat, is faded in)
-MH: Which do you go to most often?
-G: Maru Sho [Recently went bankrupt really cheap and many chain stores]
-MH: Wait a sec...Gackt, man, Marusho and you don't fit together.
-G: ...well I often make curry and other things like that. Rather than the meat lined up in the front, I like to search for the meat they hide in the back. They have those doors in the back like this... (moves his hands)
-I: (also moves his hands) You push them and they go... (all of them move their hands)
-G: I slam them open and ask: "Is the meat supervisor here?"
-MH: So you call the meat supervisor and...
-G: "The hidden meat"
-I: Is there such a thing? (grins)
-G: (leans back) There is, at the supermarket.
-MH: What kind of meat?
-G: Like Pork Belly Blocks. I go to the back and I say, "The Pork Belly Blocks...get them for me." At first they won't take them out for me, so I say, "No, they're back there."
-G: I know they are.
-MH: XDDD? "I know they are" !?
-I: You know everything about Marusho...
-G: "Yes I know they are" and then he says "Alright then."
(the present show continious)
MH: (a cup is brought) Even this cup here is a skull, it's for your exclusive usage, Gacchan.
G: Wow..nice.
MH: How's the reaction been since you were on here last?
G: (leans back) know how I go shopping?
MH: Ah, that stuff about Marusho! (the Marushologo is fading in)
G: I can't go anymore.
(noisy laughter)
I: Even though you know everything about Marusho.
G: When I go there they go "Ah- Pork Belly" (point somewhere)
I: (looks shocked)
G: "Hey, I'm not Pork Belly"... I was very shocked.
MH: So you can't go to Marusho anymore?
G: No matter where I go, it's "Pork Belly"... "Pork Belly"..."Pork Belly"
MH: Sorry about that, it's because of that odd conversation.
G: ...(silence...) .... "Pork Belly" (XDDD)
(audience laughs)
MH: But haven't you found some new place to get "Pork Belly"?
G: I've gone to dozens of other stores, but no matter where I go, when I walk into the back they point and go "Ah Pork Belly". They're cautious of me now. (oscillatingdoor is faded in)
I: They know you're a meat they have the good meat ready for you don't they?
G: They tell me, "There's good stuff in the front."
I: "There's good stuff in the front" !?
G: "Don't come back here!" (oscillatingdors are faded in again, a stop-sign overfades it. opportune sound)
G: "Don't think you can come back here just because you're a celebrity."
I:  Gackt against the strict workers.
G: It's a battle.
I: A Battle!
G: Next time I think I'll just go straight to the wholesaler.
MH: Directly?
G: "Wholesale Store" was written on the building and I thought, "that's the place" (a store is faded in)
MH: (giggles)
I: If the wholesaler doesn't know about you. What if they won't sell to you.
G: (thinks long) What you're doing now, should I have said something humorous in reply?
MH: No, no it's ok to just have a regular talk here, Gackt! I wasn't trying to get a laugh out of you or anything like that. We'll try not to call you "Pork Belly" anymore.
G: I guess I'll wear a disguise.
MH: What kind of disguise would you wear?
G: Sunglasses.
I: Ah Sunglasses.
G: Different colored sunglasses.
I: Different colored sunglasses.
MH: What color would you wear to go to Wholesale Store?
G: Blue or...
MH: (giggles) So you'll go to the Wholesale store with Blue Sunglasses?
G: (looks at MH ) No good?
MH: You'll be fine.
I: What about clothes?
MH: In these clothes you won't get far. You stand out a little too much...
G: Then how about a suit?
I: A suit with blue sunglasses?
G: Ok then I'll bring an atache case too.
I: An atache case?
MH: An atache case really doesn't have anything to do with it. If you wear the suit what's the point of the case?
G: Don't you think it's a little businessman-like?
Gackt and bargaining
MH: Okay next up, is the calligraphy corner, which was so popular last time you were on. Calligraphy time.
I: Calligraphy time.
MH: First up, when you think of shopping...for you Gackt...what word best describes shopping?
G: (writes his answer)
MH: Cut?
G: Well, when I say "Cut"...I mean "cut prices".
MH: Gackt, can you bargain down prices?
G: But of course.
G: (grins) Huh? Is there something wrong with that? Bargaining?
I: Bargaining...
G: Well I start with negotiations...
I: For instance there's a 3000 yen piece of meat, well 200 yen for a hundred grams. Altogether 30 000 yen. How low can you get that?
G: I'd start from halfprice.
I: 15 000 yen (audience laughs)
MH: That's pretty difficult isn't it?
I: "Whatcha talking about sir, 1500 yen for 100 grams!?" (disguise his voice)
G: Ok, how about 2000 yen.
G: We'll settle for the middle ground and call it 1750 yen.
I: "That ain't the middle ground, sir." "Alright ya got me, 1750."
G: That of course include tax.
I: "INCLUDED!? That's gonna hurt my business! That's about 1500 yen then..."
G: But of course.
Gackt in the shower 
(the picture is from this scene)
MH: ...Next up, What is important for a man?
G: (writes his answer) ...(reads) the waist area.
MH: the waist area? What do you mean, what about it?
G: (turns around the paper) ... It's like "good" eh? [the character for waist are turned sideways reads like good]
MH: It's like "good"...
MH: It doesn't really matter does it? What do you mean by "the waist area"?
G: Well, when I train...basically I don't like to waste time actually training, so when I take a shower or a bath.
MH: How do you take a shower?
G: How do you all wash your hair?
MH: I basically sit down and like this... (rubbs his head)
G: No good.
(audience laughs)
MH: No good?
G: No good. How do you take a shower Ishibashi?
I: Well, I sit down and... (rubbs his hairs)
G: No good. That can hurt your waist.
MH: XD Can it hurt your waist?
I: Which way is best to keep from...
G: First stand with your back to the shower...
I: (stands in front of a imaginary shower )
G: about two paces in front auf it.
I: (makes two steps forward) ... out of the spray right?
G: Yes. Put your hands on your hips,
G: now lean back. (lean back...lean back... oo...oh sry XD)
I: (leans back)
(water is coming from the cieling)
MH: (jumps up) You're kidding aren't you!? You're laughing! Something isn't right about this! (points at Ishibashi)
G: Pull in your chin, please.
I: Pull in my chin? The shower's over here right?
G: (stands up and goes over to ishibashi) This is something I discovered watching the Matrix.
MH: THE MATRIX!?...I'll be the shower...right here.
G: Like this. (leans back) 
G: (is getting washed oO)
MH: Doesn't that hurt?
G: I'm fine, you could set a teaset on me in that position, (points at his chest) no problem.
MH: Say it again, here's the shower, you got two paces in front of it,
G: Go like this...
MH: two si(three XD)
G: (leans back and is getting washed again o_O)
I: Is it cool!? Really? No matter how I look at it, it looks like it hurts your eyes. (also leans back again)
G: Pull in your chin please...
I: Ah my chin.
MH: The necks muscles are also worked?
G: Yes and while you do that move your belly.
I: Just taking a shower makes for really good training.
MH: So this is how you use your waist.
G: But of course. (they sit down again)
MH: Anything else?
G: When I brush my teeth..or dry my hair...I stay in that position,
MH: When you brush your teeth,  doesn't it go up your nose?
G: Well...ocassionally I space out...and brush my teeth with men's biore [facial cleanser].
I: Only you Gackt...
Gackt and Sex
MH: Gackt do you have sexual play with the ladies?
G: I love it.
MH: Ah so you do like it then.
G: sexual play right?
MH: Yeah.
G: I love sexual play.
(audience laughs)
MH: The waist plays a big role in that doesn't it?
G: It's very important.
MH: How often do you do it, once every two days? Once every three days?
G: I'm...not the type to do it everyday- I leave intervals, and store it up.
(laughter and applause)
MH: XDD What do you mean by store it up?
G: I hate when it's over in one or two if I store it up, I can go about 8 hours straight.
I: XD Like a snake. A snkae goes 24 hours.
G: (interested) Is that so?
MH: 8 hours eh? What are you doing for 8 hours? (frag ich mich auch oo)
G: Sexual play.
MH: Straight? (shocked)
I: Without eating?
G: No good?
MH: Are you holding eachother straight for 8 hours or what?
G: Well of course...there are many positions to go through.
MH: (stands up) Like this one? (does the matrixmove again)
G: Something close to that.
Gackt at the Hotel
MH: Continuing...What are you not embarassed about showing to others?
G: (writes his answer)
MH: Here it is...
I: (reads loud) Naked, huh?
MH: So you're pretty confident in you physique?
G: I wouldn't say confident...more like it's impossible to hide it.
MH: Fully naked?
G: Basically, at the hotel...before and during the tour I'm always naked in my room.
MH: Always? What about the staff?
I: What about when room service comes?
G: Well it is MY room...
I: Well at a hotel once you get the key it is your room...
G: yeah.
MH: Ding Dong. "Room Service here." So you slip into some pants or put on a robe...
G: Well firstly, I won't wear underwear cause it is MY room-
I: So you just get the door as you are? (laughter)
G: And Gackt, your GA*KU*TO (points down) is right there for all to see. You don't mind....showing them you GA*KU*TO at all?
G: You mean Junior?
MH: You really don't mind Gackt Junior being...
G:  I'm really not embarassed about people seeing.
MH: You're not afraid they'll think- "Ah Junior really is a junior huh!?"
G: Well I'm a Magnum.
MH: A Magnum eh? WOW! You're serious right now?
G: (has to laugh) (kawaii XDDDD)
MH: He's acting a little funny.
G: It's just, I didn't mean to say it on national television.  (laughter, END XD)
Kochen mit Gackt
MH: Sometimes you think we could go over to your place privately?
I: Yeah....we've heard so much about your curry.
MH: I wanna have some.
I: It has to be prepared 4 days in advance right?
G: 4 days, yes.
I: Tell us 4 days in advance and we'll come.
MH: Yeah, invite us...
G: If you're really going to come...I'll certainly make it.
I: Going back to something we talked of earlier...When you make Curry 4 days in're probably completely naked, right? Since it IS YOUR house.
G: While I stand in front of the pot and stir...I read a book naked.
I: You stir while reading a book...completely naked...?
MH: Wow.
G: Is there something wrong with that?
MH: But...does the Magnum...get hard, or change forms?
G: (silence) ....Not when my partner is a pot...
G: I haven't felt like being naked as much lately. (lehnt sich zurück). Since I'm living with my staff...and my elder sister.
MH: Older sister? (grins)
I: You have a older sister?
G: I do.
MH: You have siblings?
G: I do. ... I do..
MH: Why isn't she married?
G: Actually she used to be. She'll get mad that I say it like this but..."mariage, divorce, marriage, divorce"...
G: We're very free spirited at my home.
MH: You don't think it's necessarily a bad thing?
G: Not at all. It's instinctive.
MH: You mean it's a natural progression.
G: Like a natural providence.
I+MH: Nice...
I: I wanna go to your place.
MH: Are we gonna get beat up if we go inside?
G: Well first you'll have to make it through the gateway.
I: (shocked) Even if we're just coming to eat curry, we could get beat up?!
G: (is hiding his grin)
I: Eventhough we're coming prepared to eat curry, we have to be hit or we can't have any?!
G: Ah it's ok...we're more or less not a punching style...more of a kicking one.
I: Kick?
G: Yes, Kick Style.
MH: Doesn't that hurt?
G: Why do you feel that?
MH: It hurts to get kicked even for you...doesn't it Gackt?
G: Yes, it hurts.
I: Why do we have to go be kicked when we go to eat curry?
G: It's not got to BE kicked, you'll be kicking too.
I: Not kick or be eat curry...
G: When eating, food tastes better after a good workout.
MH: Ok then, before I go I'll workout, I'll go to the gym.
G:  That's the act of a weakling.
MH: XDDDD ... Finally...Gackt, What message would you like to your fans watching now?
G:  The fans right?
I: To the fans.
G: (writes his answer)
I+MH (read loud at the same time): Come and get some!
MH: Of those watching at home, the girls you don't have to worry about, but what if some guy really comes to your home?
G: Men...will have to fight.
MH: What if a real untrained person...comes after you?
G: Before you can get to me, you'll have to go through dozens of my staff. Once you clear that...
I: These...are fairly strong people on staff...?
G: Yes, Of course, I have American Soldiers...on staff to protect me.
MH: (points at the camera) Say your message to your fans please.
G: (lights go out) Come and get some.
(loud laughter)
I: That was the lights went out right as you said it.
MH: This is how you like it right?
G: My house is always like this.
MH: ..."Come and get some"...
G: (is taken with the candelier)
MH: You like this atmosphere Gackt? (soft jazzmusic in the back)
G: I love it.
I: You seem to be taken with this chandelier.
G: It's nice...If only I could take it home...
MH: Sorry Gackt, you'll have to take that up wie TBS...
I: ...negotiate price with them.
G: Well it has been used already so... 
I+MH+G: (wave into the camera)
The crotch split
MH: Gackto-san, something you like. (I understand: Gackto-sano...oginiri no mono... hm I should learn japanese xD)
G: (writes his answer)
MH: What's that say?
I: Crotch split?
G: A crotch split. (it spreads your legs)
MH: A croch split? What do you mean?
G: When training, I often strech, when you strech by really can't put any power into it. So I use a "crotch splitting device"...
MH: Seriously?
G: That spreads open you crotch...when you're on your own.
MH: What do you mean? Is there such a thing?
(they stand up and go over to the crotch split)
G: Are you stiff Ishibashi?
I: Very stiff.
MH: I'm really stiff myself.
G: Well then please have seat here.
I:  No way, I'm not doing it.
MH: Actually I'm really flexible.
G: Using this, you'll be able to open your crotch about 30cm more than you can now.
I: Now way, I'm out.
MH: Not for me!
G: So let's get the stiffest person on it. But of course, I'm already flexible. Naturally...
MH: How far can you spread your legs apart?
G: (shows it) About like this...
(audience is shoked)
MH:  So flexible...You legs are so long. (shoked and with high voice) What are you?! What do you wanna do?!
G: (laughs) Even if you ask me that...
MH: Ok Gackt,
I: How far can you spread em?
G: Even if I use this, I can spread my legs all the way...Better for someone who can't to use it.
MH: I can't spread my legs at all... (sits down in the crotchsplit)
I: Wow...!
G: Now just turn the crank yourself...
MH: (turns) uah...They're opening up!
G: Put more energy into turning it.
MH: Uah! Woh, it hurts.
G: I'll help you out. (turns...)
MH: Ow ow ow ow ow! GA*KU*TO!# (turns back) You REALLY don't have to help.#
MH: Gackt you surprised me.
G: (grins)
MH: (turns slowly)
I: Gackt, you do it too.
MH: (stops turning) This is about as far as I can go...and even this hurts. Ayeadadadadada.... (<- xD) (points at the handle) Magnum XD
G: (turns)
MH: Magnum XDD.... .. ... ow ow ow ! No more! No more! (laughs) Gackto!.... XDD... Gackto...bring it back! (turns back and gets out of the crotchsplit) I made it back.... Gackt, now you!
G: As long as my pants don't tear... [Note: he said he doesn't wear underwear xD) 
MH: Oh you can do even this much without a sweat.
G: When I did this before, my pants tore... (turns slowly.)
(audience is shocked)
MH: Wow!
I: (grins)
MH: Gackt! More! More! (tries to turn) I won't go any further!?
I: (stands behind gackt) It'd be better if it could go all the way back here.
G: (turns a little bit)
MH: (tries to turn again) Won't go anymore.
G: (turns)
MH: This hurts doesn't it? Hurts, right?
G: It's just my pants might tear...
MH: Just a little bit more and... (handle is in front of gackt)  (laughs) There just like your magnum.
MH: Wow...!
G: (turns back)
I: What does this person do?...(laughter)
MH: Why are you this flexible?
G: (turns back) Well I practice Karate and stuff like that....
MH: At your home?
G: (turns back) Well kicks and things like that...
MH: By yourself...shadow fighting?
G: (turns back xD) No, all my staff are trained in martial arts fighting.
MH: Doesn't anyone get hurt?
G: (turns back ^-^') Well not really hurt seriously...(stands up)..maybe...break a few ribs sometimes.
I: What is he?...What does he do?...
MH: His chest muscles are amazing.
I:  It's so hard. He's got incredible abs.
MH: Could show us this, even if in private?
G: Sure take a look. (shows his abs) [OO!!!!! *-*....]
MH: Wow what abs...  so hard. No body fat.
I: What's your percentage body fat?
G: Percentage Body fat? This morning it was around 6%.
(audience is shocked)
I: Amazing!
MH: You're all muscle!
(next scene)
I: What kind of girl do you like?
G: (thinks) ähm...Well as long as she's skilled...
MH: Good at what?
G: Well it would be bad form to say "good in bed" long as she's good at sex.
I: What about looks?
G: Well...As long as she's easy to get along with...and the looks are decent.
MH: You don't need conversation?
G: Not at all, do you? [arrr oO]
I: What about 0930?
G: eh? Okusama?
I: In the band 0930 (okusama), there's a girl named Umepara...(a picture of a asian fat girl is faded in)
I: She currently looking for a boyfriend...
MH:  Yes..
G: Ah... no thank you.
Jungle Interview
I: What's with this?
MH: It's a jungle.
I: Why is there a skull in the jungle?
MH: Could it be that HE'S come again? What the...I hear something. (man hört drumms)
I: He can't just come out like an ordinary person can he?
MH: He can't, can he?
(you can see gackt playing drumms)
MH: He can't stand not doing something special every time.
G: >> (silent) tok tok tok tok tok tok tok << (sighs)
I: That's the Mad Aristocrat for you.
MH: Shall we introduce him, in his 3rd appearance on Utaban, this week's main guest, Gackt come on out!
G: (comes in through a door)
I: The set this time is a jungle.
MH: What's the meaning?
G: My room is also like this you know.
MH: You live in this kind of environment?
G: Yes.
I: In this jungle the magnum is...plopped down?
G: (silence...) I'm sorry. I don't understand what you're implying.
I: The magnum in the jungle, just bang there it is.
MH: There it is.
G: Oh you mean mine?
MH: We couldn't call what we have a magnum...
I: We're more like minitature bottles (alcohol)
MH: Yes we really are... How has the response to the Magnum bit been?
G: I really shouldn't have said it.
I: What exactly?
G: Last time when I said I was a Magnum. Now people are screaming Magnum at me.
I: At concerts or what?
G: What surprised me the most was, I went to Taiwan for work...
I: Yes...
MH: Yes?
G: When I arrived at the airport, there were many fans waiting for me.
MH: Isn't that nice.
G: Taiwanese fans. (silence) ... I don't think they really knew what it meant but, they said in a kind of broken English, "Magnum" (tries to say it like sounds then like magenam xD) that.
MH: But really, it's quite something isn't it?
G: It's not THAT big.
I: Since your crotch is so flexible, you must be... (a picture from the crotchsplit interview is faded in)
MH: I wish I had one the size of the ones behind the blurred out parts in porno videos.
I: I often go to the Adult Stores abroad, and I've seen magnums.
MH: How does your Magnum hold up to the ones in those videos?
G: (silence) ..Well mine is...uhm...just a lil'magnum I guess.
(audience laughs)
I: Lil'Magnum?
MH: Lil'Mag.... Lil' Num.
G: Lil' Num.
MH: Well you may get a new nickname in addition to magnum. As we do everytime, we'd like to get to know your personality a little better,
I: Pork Belly, magnum and now this third time.
MH: So once again...It's time for calligraphy corner.
I: Something you're better at than anyone else.
MH: I'm superior in this way.
G: (writes his answer)
I: "I can hear a little better" What does that mean?
MH: Is this a scary story?
G: Not at all. It's just that my ears are a little odd,
(audience laughs)
G: The range of my hearing is a bit off from an ordinary person. I can hear the high and low frequencies of flourescent lights quite well.
MH: Don't flourescent lights have just one sound?
G: No, there's many. So many sounds... I can't sleep because of it.
MH: You hear too much.
I: They say that dogs are like that too.
G: (two wolfears are faded in (on gackts head))
(unfortunately the interview ends here)

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